Sunday, August 21, 2011

Two Talents

If there are two things I'm good at, they are whistling and packing a refrigerator. Seriously. I believe everyone is good at something. I don't think everyone can be the best at something. Actually, I think most people aren't the best at anything, although, some people are quite good at a lot of things. The bottom line is that I think each person has at least one special knack, and I believe I've pinpointed my two especially special God-given talents.

Am I the best whistler there ever was? Possibly, but probably not. I suppose I'll never know. Even if I were to win every whistling contest I ever entered, I would never know if a greater whistler lived before me, or if one lives currently and is just not entering whistling competitions. And I suppose it is difficult to measure exactly what makes one the best whistler. Hitting the most notes correctly? Taking the fewest amount of breaths so as to not interrupt the tunes? All's I know is that I can whistle up some fine Dixie, let me tell ya'. (Dixie tunes, not malarkey...) I don't mean to toot my own horn or anything (blow my own whistle?), but I think it is fine for one to recognize his or her own special gifts and not to hide them under a bushel.

My other area of abnormal aptitude is refrigerator stuffing. When it seems all hope is lost, and there is not another square inch inside your refrigerator for your tupperwares full of leftovers, I'm your girl. My superior spacial reasoning skills are generalizable to other areas outside the kitchen, but refrigerators are undoubtedly my specialty. What can I say? It just comes naturally to me. I'd love to be able to share my fridge-stuffing prowess with others, but I'm a firm believer that you're either born with it, or you're not.

Some people are good whistlers or refrigerator stuffers. Others may be supremely fast stair-climbers or have extraordinary senses of smell. If you are having trouble realizing your talent, feedback from others can be a pretty good indicator. Both my whistling skills and refrigerator-packing abilities have been highly revered by all who have witnessed them. Maybe some day, if you've not yet, you too will realize your special gifts and join me on this heightened plane of self-awareness. Namaste.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Raise your hand if you're sure.

It's no secret that I love the English language. A LOT. I love the subtleties of grammar and nuances of dialect that have the power to completely change the implication of a sentence. I am utterly fascinated by idioms and colloquialisms (particularly those of the Southern United States), and there is little I enjoy more than a well-constructed, colorful turn of phrase. But, there is one phrase that has snuck its way into popular vernacular that absolutely drives me nuts: “I know, right?”

I believe the phrase is a contradictory atrocity against the English language! (Not to mention it's been overused to the point of obnoxiousness.) I understand that the intended meaning is one of resounding agreement, but I don't feel the construction reflects the intention. It's as if one is making a confident statement, then second-guessing himself. “I know. Don't I?”

How am I supposed to know if you know? You either know or you don't. You said you knew. How can I trust someone who makes a statement willy nilly, not sure if it was accurate before it came out of his mouth?

My husband made a comparison to an expression of agreement that I like to frequently use - “Isn't it, though?” - to the one aforementioned. I was deeply offended that he would make such an accusation of similarity! The two are not synonymous. I'm sure of it. I think...