There I sat, like an idiot,
eating my hot dogs, thinking I was appropriately celebrating
National Hot Dog Day last Saturday. Today, much to my chagrin, I learned that I’d
been misinformed and my celebration was grossly premature.
My downfall into hot dog disgrace began when I went to work
today. A co-worker announced to me, “Tomorrow is National Hot Dog Day!” (I have
a bit of a reputation for my knowledge and celebration of obscure holidays, so
people often call these off-beat occasions to my attention.)
“Nuh-uh!” I responded. “It was last Saturday.”
We argued in this manner for a while until I decided to
consult the fount of all wisdom that is the Internet. I found reputable sources
citing both dates as the official day for celebrating the Holiest of all Hot
Dog-Related Holidays and could not seem to find resolution for my wiener
crisis.
I had no other choice. I took the matter all the way up to
the nation’s capital and telephoned the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council in
Washington, DC. I decided to call the Vice President of Wiener Affairs. (I
figured surely the Council President -“The Queen of Wien,” as she is titled-
would be too busy to take my call, with this being the busy hot dog season and
all. It’s also National Hot Dog month, you know.) I dialed his desk phone; I
didn’t think the matter was urgent enough to call his cell. He answered
surprisingly quickly. I introduced myself and explained to him that I, a
concerned constituent, was confused about the official date of National Hot Dog
Day and requested clarification. He patiently explained that the date changes
each year and is dependent on when they (the esteemed members of the Hot Dog and
Sausage Council) hold their Hot Dog Day in the capital, which is usually the 3rd
or 4th Wednesday in July. This year, it will be on July 23rd.
So, there you have it. It’s tomorrow. And now, I find myself
ill-prepared for the upcoming holiday and feeling ashamed of my untimely prior
celebration, although I will be definitely be celebrating again tomorrow on the
real, true National Hot Dog Day.